It started early in December. I got a cold. At finals time. The worst possible time to be foggy-minded and I was. Through coughing and blowing my nose, I made it through my finals. I even pulled off an A in my hardest class, anatomy. However, I got a B in one of my other classes (Point one for December). While I survived the cold and moved on, we began working on baby number 2. 7 days later, I picked up a stomach bug. Vomiting all night long (along with my father-in-law), I worried about dehydration. So my husband and I packed up and went to the ER. They pumped me full of fluids and gave me magical anti-nausea pills. They also said initial results showed we weren't pregnant (we held out hope because it was very early yet). Later that day, my husband got a positive diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. (Points 2 & 3 for December) We scheduled a time to meet with a nurse on the following Wednesday to show him how to administer his medications.
On Thursday, I received a phone call from my grandfather. He was not well. So I contacted my family closer to him and they took things from there. Either way, he wasn't going to be coming up to visit for Daisy's birthday or Christmas as we had discussed two days earlier. (Point 4) On Friday, I got information that my grandfather's MRI was clean but we weren't sure what was causing the issues he was having. Saturday, he calls us from a few hours away (around halfway through his trip to come see us) to tell us he is coming. We rush to get things together to find that our RV doesn't want to run or charge (Point 5).
We cleaned our camping trailer and prepared it for their stay. Things weren't right from the start with them and Christmas night, December won point 6. The day after Christmas, December won point 7 as we rushed my grandfather to the hospital and point 8 when, surprise, I was definitely not pregnant.
December won point 9 when I went in for a baseline ultrasound for the next cycle and found I had a cyst, I would not be able to do anything this cycle.
We got my grandfather out of the hospital and on his way home on the 30th. That day, December won point 10 when we had to take Matt to the hospital. There he was diagnosed with pneumonia.
I went to work the next day but December scored point 11 later that afternoon. While I was getting a nice New Year's Eve dinner for us in the hospital, my husband became incapable of breathing. They rushed in a code team and got him breathing. I came to the hospital just an hour after that episode (I don't know why I wasn't called...) I have to mention here that at this time, the Lord's Prospects were there keeping Matt company. This is important later.
A CT scan showed two pulmonary emboli, one in each lung (blood clots) and completely unrelated from the pneumonia. He was asked to move to his chair from the gurney because they wanted him sitting up. While he sat there, he had trouble breathing again. They got him on high flow oxygen and put him back in bed. They got a respiratory specialist and put him on a Bipap machine.
They contemplated moving him to ICU and decided it would be for the best so he could be more closely monitored. We got him moved and they asked me to wait in the waiting room while they got his information passed from one team to the next. Points 12 & 13 were given to December when the doctor came in and said they needed to intubate him and give him a drug that *could* kill him, but shouldn't. He asked to see me. I got to see him for just a minute while they prepped then they asked me to leave.
At this time, the Lord's Prospects returned. They had only been gone maybe 45 minutes from their last visit but they had gotten the news that the CT scan wasn't good and dropped their plans to come sit with me. This is where I lost it. All of December had been so rotten, so awful. Everything had gone so horribly wrong. My simple thought was, "What if he dies?" And I burst into tears. I have never been so afraid in all my life. The Lord's Prospects were so good, so reassuring, so comforting. They didn't know what would happen but they kept telling me that Matt was a fighter. Still, I was terrified. It was still December, several hours away from the promise of relief of January. I had a very real fear that December would kill my husband.
It didn't. But it was a long wait. December finally finished and my husband, still in the hospital, is slowly on the mend. December won, it kicked my ass, but I'm still standing. By the strength of God, I am still standing.
I hope to never have such a terrible month again. But if I do, maybe just maybe I'll remember this month and remember that we made it. In one piece.
No comments:
Post a Comment